So, today I have started writing again, after an orchestrating ‘holiday’. The orchestration is pretty much there now. I reached saturation point whilst on a stop-at-every-stop train at about 1am last night, coming back from a performance of another of my works at the Yehudi Menuhin School, trying to work out who plays what note in the huge chords at the end of the opera, whilst attempting to balance my laptop on my knee. That’s the thing with orchestration - it’s not so knackering as actual composing: there comes a stage with composing where you just have to stop because you are an utter zombie. With orchestration, zombification creeps up on you slowly, and it’s only at midnight, when you suddenly realise you haven’t moved an inch in the last 15 hours (ok, that’s slight exaggeration, but only a slight one) that you realise your brain is no longer functioning. It’s strangely addictive: I can’t compose anywhere but in a room away from people, with a piano, but orchestration can be done almost anywhere...on late night trains, in cafes, in station waiting rooms...
On the positive side, orchestration is like all the fun and creativity of composing, with about half of the hard graft. It’s sometimes a bit of a puzzle to work out who plays what note in big chordal passages, but, for large amounts of time, it really is a case of looking at what you’ve written and either already knowing what instrument plays that bit, or having fun imagining who to give that bit to. Sometimes it almost feels too easy and I have to keep reminding myself that well, I have already written the music, so, it’s ok for it not to be soul-searchingly hard...
I’m working on a kind of “I’m at the stage where it will all be ok if I get hit by a bus and have to go to hospital” principle at the moment. Sorry, that’s sounds really depressing - but, what I mean is, that if I’m really up against it timewise, I can finish it in a few days if need be. As a composer you do have to always factor in a “if it hits the fan” time buffer into your timetable. Not that you actually ever do, but that’s always the plan. Actually, goodness, that says quite a lot about me and my approach to my work that I have this inner “if I’m somehow dead, someone will able to finish it in time for the 28th June because my intentions are now very clear”. But that’s probably something I should discuss with a qualified professional, not the world wide web...
Anyway, so, well, I’m writing this at 21.55 on a Friday night, and I’m just starting to really get into writing the music again. But hell, it’s Friday night, so tonight’s writing mainly consists of reading and re-reading the text of the Prologue with a glass of dry white. I’ve always been rather good at multi-tasking anyway...
I had a meeting with a writer the other day (about a separate project you can read about here) and we were discussing our (as it turned out rather similar) recent writing experiences. There is something wonderful about totally immersing yourself in writing - I’ve done it before, but not to this extent for quite a while (probably not since I stayed up for 72 hours straight once to finish an orchestral piece when I was still at school). Despite all the moaning I’ve been doing recently about quite fancying a life outside of this opera, being so engrossed in it does have wonderful side effects. My mind feels like it’s somehow rid itself of the shackles that my inspiration usually has to rattle vigorously at for some hours, days, or weeks to get past. Sitting just now reading through the Prologue, I’ve come up with so many ideas (and really, I’ve only had the one small glass, I’m not delusional, yet).
I think I’m just so ‘in’ the music, the drama, the story, that ideas really are just flowing. That sounds dreadfully cliched but it really is the best way to describe it. And it’s really great.
I shall post this as soon as I’m online, because, well, tomorrow I’ll probably be as stuck a very stuck thing, and, well, it will be encouraging to reminisce about the mindset I’m currently in, and rather enjoying.
37 days until rehearsals start. Crikey.
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